Christmas

Christmas is a special time
When love and memories come to mind.

The cold winter weather at times is severe,
But never represses our holiday cheer.

With sleigh bells and stars and the babe in the crèche,
Magic and miracles don’t seem so far fetched.

Our family gathers with laughter and smiles
And lovingly spoils each little child.

There are cookies and candies and other nice treats,
Turkey and pie and such good things to eat.

Pretty wrapped packages sit ‘neath the tree.
We shift and shake them, wond’ring what they could be.

And sometimes we have one of those years
When we’re sad because someone is no longer here.

We’ll wipe each other’s tears and hug each other’s necks,
Then remind one another how richly we’re blessed.

Not everyone gets such a wonderful gift
Of having loved someone whom they so dearly miss.

For the measure of how special relationships are
Is how big a void they can leave in your heart.

Our love and memories cannot be severed,
And that is a gift we will treasure forever.

Heather Nall, 2008

Not-So-Silent Night

We decided to take J to the candlelight advent service at church last night. This consists of a lot of Christmas songs and scripture readings. At the end, they turn out the lights and everyone is holding a candle. Starting at the front, the first person in each pew lights their candle from the ushers in the middle, and then the light is passed from candle to candle through the church as everyone sings silent night. It is normally a very moving and sentimental time. But this year, with J’s lack of church experience, toddler hood, and the close proximity to bedtime…… it was anything but. James just screamed and cried all the way through the song, and kept trying to grab our candles and then screaming when we wouldn’t let him. No one seemed to mind, and I sincerely hope that it wasn’t as loud in everyone else’s ears as it was in mine. I hope it didn’t ruin the experience for them. Now I’m really not looking forward to the Christmas Eve service!

My little Man-Child

Can you believe how thouroughly handsome and dashing this young man is?

Future GQ cover model.

Storm The Gates!!!

Please pray with me:

Heavenly Father, I come before you now in humble adoration of You, and in awe of the vastness of Your love. I am so thankful that You have allowed me the gift of having Isabella and her mom and dad in my life. I thank you for Bella’s life. I thank You for the joy and the sweetness that she has brought into the lives of so many others, even around the world, as people follow her journey. I thank You for the gift that Bella is to her parents, and for the lessons that she has already taught them, and will continue to teach them throughout her life, as we know that parents learn much more from children than children learn from parents.

Father, I acknowledge that You are the Great Physician, and You are the Healer. You are Isabella’s Creator, and her Lord and Savior. You, and only You, Lord, can heal the disease with which Bella has been afflicted. My trust is in You, all day long. I ask You, Lord, even now, to place your hand of blessing on the doctors, the nurses, the family members who will be caring for Bella in the coming days, weeks, and months. I ask that You use the donor cells that Bella will receive as an instrument of Your miraculous love and Your mighty power.

Lord, I know that you are the source of strength, and I ask You to give that strength to Bella and to her parents as they face the long journey ahead. You are also the source of knowledge, and I ask You to grant knowledge and wisdom to Bella’s doctors and nurses, and help them to discern exactly the best way to care for Bella and all of her needs.

I ask all these things, not because I deserve them, or Bella deserves them, or her family deserves them. I ask these things because…as great and consuming as my love for Isabella is…..I know that You love her even more. I know that she is Your precious child, and that her suffering grieves You as it does me. I know that You wish to see Bella made whole.

Finally, God, I pray for Elizabeth and for her unborn baby. I pray that You place Your hand of protection on them. I ask that you keep them both safe during this time of stress and difficulty.

I ask all this in the name of Jesus, our Savior.

Amen.

I Saw the Spirit of Christmas this Weekend!

Well, our town had this “event” on Saturday, where Santa came to the town square in the fire truck to see all the kids. Kids came and sat on his lap and he gave them treats and stuff. The town businesses did a bunch of open houses and drawings as a part of it, to boost participation and holiday spending and such. So, as a part of the deal, they had this “Santa’s Workshop.” This was a building in which people were able to set up and sell their things, like crafts and baked goods and such.

When I went there, I stepped into this one lady’s “booth” and she had a bunch of really cute hair barrettes and things. There were these one barrettes that had these big flowers on them, really pretty. Then she had some headbands that were made with a place where you can clip the flower barrette onto the headband. Of course, I immediately thought of Bella. (She still has her hair, as the med that can possibly cause her to loose it hasn’t been given yet, and she may not loose it at all, but I have been anticipating the possibility)

There was the woman who was selling, and another lady who was a customer, and me. I glanced up into the hallway at R to ask him if I could buy one for Bella. All I managed to say was “Can I get one of these for Bella for when her…..” and I choked up. Of course, so did he and all he could manage was to nod his head, and I excused myself into the hallway to get my checkbook (I wasn’t carrying cash) and of course, I couldn’t control the tears and I was shaking really bad. Well, no one there except me knew why I’d suddenly lost it, and the women were really concerned and kept asking me if I was ok. I choked out “My best friend’s daughter is the same age as my son (pointing at the stroller) and she’s getting chemo right now, and this if for when her….hair….(blubber blubber blubber).

By this point, I am bawling, the other customer is crying, and the lady selling the barrettes is crying and I’m shaking and opening my checkbook, and she starts waving her hands and saying “Just take it. Just take it. She can just have it.” Then that made all three of us (and R) cry that much more, and it became quite the scene. But it really moved me that the lady would give that to Bella. I wish I would have gotten her name, but I was just trying to get out of there and pull myself together.

So, as soon as I can get the box put together to send, Bella will have a pink flower on a headband that she can wear.

Merry Christmas.

Hello.

Hi everyone.  Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving and that all your travels were safe and uneventful.  We had a super great time here.  We had a HUGE dinner at my Mom’s on Thursday, with Uncle P and Momma C and their girls, Big Bird and Sweet Charlie, Grams, and my family, including T who came down for a few days also.  The food was fabulous, but it was the company we all craved and our hearts were filled to overflowing with love and laughter and good memory-making.

 

Thursday night I went to my Aunt’s house to celebrate with my Dad’s family.  This ended up not being quite as much celebration as I’d hoped for, as J and I ended up showing up late.  R and T were both sleeping and didn’t get to go.  Aunt C had a fire going in her fireplace, which is open with no screen or door, so I spent the evening planted in front of the fireplace sweating and keeping J-man out of the fire.  After some snacks and chit-chat, the ladies settled in for a Mary Kay facial “party” as my cousin has recently become a consultant.  My other cousin’s husband spent that part of the evening acting as “nanny” for the J-man.  Thanks again, B!  You’re the best!

 

Friday was kind of a bust for me, as I frittered away the time I could have and should have been spending on putting up Christmas decorations.  This was due to a silly misunderstanding in communication, as I did not understand that it was intended as a kind of “couples day” for Mom & Dad and Big Bird & Sweet Charlie.  My bad.  I got all dolled up and followed them all to my Grams house, and then they all went in to Wichita for the day.  But J and I enjoyed visiting with Grams till he was too tired, and we headed home where I sulked for a while.  I was not in the best emotional place the last few weeks, and was really starting to have a little pity party at this point.  Sad to admit that, as I am defiantly too old for that nonsense.

 

Saturday I determined to get Christmas going in my house.  Usually my tradition is to do this the day after Thanksgiving, so I really should not have deviated from that this year, but oh well.  Such is life.  So I just got up, put my hair in a scrunchie, and got to work.  I was not a pretty sight at all, but my house sure was!  The tree went up and the decorations began to take their places.  James took a good long nap, which allowed me to get quite a bit done.  Then my mom called and asked me to bring J to her house for a bit.  I really was not wanting to go because I was on a roll, but here is where another little communication snafu happened.  Big Bird had brought her backdrops and props and a special outfit and wanted to get J’s Christmas pictures taken that day!  I’m telling ya, we should’ve developed an itinerary! LOL  I would have loved to get in front of the lens with my boy for a few shots, but it was not going to happen that day in my sweats and my greasy hair and no make-up! Ha Ha Ha!

 

So, Big Bird and I locked ourselves in the room with J and tried so hard to keep him in front of the backdrop for the pictures.  Do you know how difficult it is to get an 18 month old to sit still for pictures in his own bedroom full of toys when he just woke up from a nap and is full of energy? We had fun trying, though.  And I do think she managed to get enough good shots to work with.  The little guy is very photogenic, but lightening fast!  And we also could have gotten some way cute stuff if the little booger would leave a hat on his head!  Oh well, there’s next year I suppose.  I am excited to see some of the stuff she did.  I know they will be great.

 

Sunday was a super day.  J-man took a good long nap and I got some more things done.  Then when he got up, we hurried up and got in the car and went and picked up my mom and we all went to town for a little shopping.  Honestly, all I needed to get was dog food and hamburger, and it was going to be a fast trip.  But mom had other plans!  We so rarely get to go out together these days, so she seized her opportunity and did some of her Christmas shopping by buying me some new work clothes.  Thank you, Mamma.  I feel like a new woman.  When we got back home, she came to my house to help me put the lights up on my tree.  We had so much fun just hanging out together.  Just being with my Mamma for a few hours was enough to start pulling me out of my little funky attitude.

 

Then, yesterday, I had a nice long email-thread-chat with Big Bird.  She helped me get my head back on straight and get myself set back on track.  Life happens to everyone and you just can’t let yourself get myopic and miss the big picture.  So, I’ve given myself a swift kick in the butt and I’m back to my old self again.  My apologies to everyone for being a bum and a drag over the holiday.  I love you all, and I know you love me too and have already forgiven me.

 

Here’s to the start of a great Christmas season.  Merry Christmas to you all, and hope you keep Jesus in the forefront of your mind and heart as we close out 2008.

 

Love, Heather