Goodbye George...

My George left this world yesterday, April 29, 2008 at approx. 4pm. He leaves a void in my life and so many others that can never be filled. Hearts are breaking. Tears are falling. Goodbye my friend. I love you, and I miss you already!

George Update

The last update I received about George was a good one. He is now one week post bypass surgery and still hanging in there. It has been quite an up-and-down roller coaster for him and his family and friends. Just when he began to improve and give us some hope, he would take a down-turn again. But then, just when we were about sure the end was near, he would take an up-turn again! I know there are countless angels surrounding this dear man. There is no explanation for the fact that he is still with us other than the mighty hand of a loving God. The last I heard, George was off almost all of his IV drips. The only thing they are giving him now is the sedative. His kidneys are functioning on their own once more, as is his liver. His heart is working on its own without the pacemaker. His left hand is very blue/purple and cold. His feet and ankles are also, but not as bad as his hand. The doctors say that there is likely some kind of blockage causing the problem, but if they try to do an angioplasty to fix it, the procedure would most likely kill him. So for now, they are rubbing Nitro cream on his hand and feet trying to improve the circulation, and hoping that he comes out of it with just some numbness. They have tried to allow him to wake up some, but when they back off the sedative, his respirations get fast and heavy, which is not good for him. So for now, they are still keeping him asleep with medication. He is by no means “out of the woods” and still needs our love and prayers! Also, his wife, children, extended family and friends need prayers and support as they go through such a wide range of emotions. His sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren from out of state were able to come and stay for several days, but had to get back home to work. George, of course, was asleep for their entire visit. Please say special prayers for them having to be so far away and not being able to come back when his condition changes from day to day. I have not been back to see him since last Tuesday when his condition first got bad. I still have a cold and do not want to take a chance on giving him something else his body has to deal with on top of everything else. I don’t want to give it to his wife and family either, so I just stay home and wait for reports by phone. That is a very hard thing to do! Of course, it pales in comparison to his wife, who has to sit there in the waiting room day after day helpless to do anything for him. I will post again when we some any significant change in his condition. Thank you to all my friends who read this blog and respond faithfully with prayers. They are indeed powerful and effective, as George’s life has proven! God Bless you all!

I Could Not Ask For More

There is a song playing over and over in my head today that says so much about the way I feel about my little baby boy. Thought I'd put the lyrics on here and share it with you all. It was recorded by Edwin McCain in 1999, and Sara Evans in 2001.

Lying here with you
Listening to the rain
Smiling just to see the smile upon your face
These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I found all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

Looking in your eyes
Seeing all I need
Everything you are is everything to me
These are the moments I know heaven must exist
These are the moments all I need is this
I have all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time together
I could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had has come true
And right here in this time is where I'm meant to be
Here with you, here with me

These are the moments I thank God that I'm alive
These are the moments I'll remember all my life
I've got all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more

I could not ask for more than this time togetherI
could not ask for more than this time with you
Every prayer has been answered
Every dream I've had has come true
And right here in this time is where I'm meant to be
Here with you, here with me
I could not ask for more than the love you give me
'Cause it's all I've waited for
And I could not ask for more
I could not ask for more

It's ok. I'm with the band!

"If I could just reach my bass drum....." "OK, I've got my equipment unpacked. Time for a sound check..."
"Mom, where did you hide my drumsticks?"
"Bring on the groupies!"

Photo Update

I have really slacked off lately on posting pictures for you. Sorry. There has been so much drama going on that I kept forgetting to put pics on a disc so that I could bring them with me. Here are a few to start with: J-man and his Great Grandma on Easter.

J-man checking out his Easter basket.

J getting a hug from his new friend. This is his temporary babysitter's little boy D. D is one month older than J.

Here is J's 11 month photo. Once again, it's not a great shot, as he's trying to vault off the chair before I can get the picture taken!

J couldn't stand to wait to be dried off after his bath. He took off down the hall to the living room in just his bathtowel.

My George

This is my friend George. Yes, I’m breaking my own rules and using his real name. I want to tell everyone about my friend George. R met George over 10 years ago when he was in college. They became great friends while George was tutoring R. When I began dating R, I met George and his wife and daughter a few times. I thought they were nice people and fun to be with, but didn’t really get to know them before R and I moved away in 1998. When we came back to this area in 2006, we went looking for George. His old home was gone, but we saw another nearby and there was a decoration in the window that just told me it was George’s place. So we knocked on the door. They welcomed us in and chatted with us as if no time had passed. Soon after, we were getting together at each other’s houses every single weekend. We would hang out, play cards, eat, drink, and tell stories and tease each other and laugh.
This is George with his grandson. I have come to love George and his family very much over the past two years. He calls R his “brother from another mother.” They are family to us. They were the first ones to come see us after we brought J home from the hospital. George just took right over helping take care of him and holding him like it was his own baby! He loves J so much! George is an amazing person. He is a poet, artist, scholar, teacher, and philosopher. He loves to learn and read. He is one of the most intelligent people I’ve ever known, even if he DOES do some real bonehead things sometimes! But then, don’t we all. He is Cherokee, and has taught me a lot about his Indian heritage. He makes hand-carved totem poles that are just amazing to see! He loves any opportunity to help educate someone on any topic, especially history. He has a huge wealth of knowledge, and is always soaking up more like a sponge. He is fascinating to sit and talk with on just about any subject. He is full of life and love, and has the most wonderful smile that just lights up his whole face.
(This pic was taken when J was about 7 weeks old.) I am writing all this because I want you to understand just how special my George is. And I want to ask you to pray for him and his family. George has a long history of heart problems. Last Saturday he had another major heart attack. He made it to the hospital and while there went into cardiac arrest and had to be shocked five times to bring him back. He had a quadruple bypass surgery late Monday night. After the surgery he was doing quite well, but then took a turn for the worse. He is now in a drug induced coma. They are fighting to try to save his life, with his heart, lungs and kidneys trying to shut down. We are told that the right side of his heart is dead, and if he survives, he will be unable to take any sort of exertion. He will have to go on disability and stop working. I feel very sad for my friends who are going through this. George has a wife and five children, one of them still at home. My heart is breaking for my friend. Please pray for us all. Hug your loved ones and tell them how special they are. I’ve never told George how much he’s come to mean to me.

The Faith of a Child

A children's Sunday School class was presenting their end of the year program for the congregation - telling about the life of Jesus.
When it came to the part about Jesus' miracles, one little boy said, "Yes, Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead!"
The teacher urged him to tell us more. He said, "Well, Jesus told them to open the tomb, and then He said, 'Lazarus, come out!' And it's a good thing he didn't just say 'Come out!' because there would have been a stampede of dead guys."

Update

I know that I really need to post something for you. It’s been a while. I just don’t really know what to say. There is so much going on lately, and I just feel….overwhelmed. I still feel kind of numb about my Gramps being gone. I think of him all the time, and I can hear his voice in my head. The first time I went back to the house, as I walked in the door a man spoke in the other room. I guess it was just my brain filling in blank unknowns with something familiar, but I swear when that man spoke, it was my Gramps’ voice. It felt just like any other visit, and that I should walk through the doorway and see him sitting at the dining room table smoking a cigarette and telling a story. But he wasn’t there. It was a friend of his. (who, incidentally, sounds nothing like him.) That was a very empty feeling. The funeral service was Wednesday of last week. It was very beautiful. Everything went smoothly. I was able to read my poem without breaking down, to the amazement of myself and many others. Gramps’ dear friend and “emotionally adopted” son, S, was asked to give the eulogy. He wrote a perfectly gorgeous tribute, but felt unable to read it, so the minister read it. It fit Gramps to a T. I never know S was so eloquent. Gramps was laid to rest in his western suit, looking handsome as always, with his coffee cup and the last pack of cigarettes he opened. The casket spray was wonderful. It was made with sunflowers and little daisy-like flowers and carnations. They included peacock feathers from Gramps’ own birds and his grey Stetson cowboy hat finished it off, tipped slightly to the side, just as he always wore it. (Gramps thought all hats should be tipped to the side.) We took J to the service, and he was a dream baby as usual. Despite the fact that he was up every few hours the night before crying and in pain with teething and a fever. I was so worried he’d cry when I stepped up to read my poem, but he never made a peep. I am so blessed to have such a good boy! The ride to the cemetery was long, and he began to get restless as we neared the end. I was turned around in my seat, giving him Tylenol and a bottle when we entered. I asked R what Gramps would think of me coming to his graveside butt-first. We both laughed, knowing Gramps would get a right good chuckle out of that!

The next few days just seem like a blur. Saturday it was beautiful out, but very windy. R and I took J to town that day and we got a new pair of shoes for R and for me. We went to a restaurant for lunch, then stopped in to visit some friends of ours we hadn’t seen in a long time. All in all it was a great day, and I really enjoyed spending time with just my husband and my son.

Sunday we went over to my dad’s house for a few hours. We had a nice visit. We watched my dad get out his tractor and till the garden. J thought that was utterly fascinating. Then he got to ride with his grandpa on the tractor from the garden to the shop. Very fun big-guy stuff! We had a nice lunch, and then J was beyond tired, so we headed home.

This week, J is at the sitter’s again. My mom is staying with B’s dad now. They finally got to take him home with hospice yesterday, but he is having a very tough time. They have expected him to go “any time” since Friday, but he just keeps rallying. I really don’t know what keeps the poor dear hanging on so. He is over 90 years old. I hope they can all find some peace and rest soon.

R has been battling with insurance company schmucks ever since his wreck. The other guy’s insurance didn’t want to foot the bill for a rental truck so R could keep earning a living while his is fixed. They didn’t want to pay him downtime either. Uh, hello! That’s the whole reason why people HAVE insurance!!! But once R hired a lawyer, all it took was a phone call and suddenly they decided they could rent a truck after all. Like I said, schmucks! It may come to a lawsuit to get the money for the entire week he was out of work before he got the rental, I don’t know. Fun times…..Fun times…..

So, now I think you are up to date on my life. Hope things begin to look up soon. Let me hear from you folks, as it brightens my day when I do! I’m always checking back here for comments. God Bless you and be careful out there! As R always says, there are two rules you must follow when you’re out: 1. Watch out for idiots. 2. They’re ALL idiots!

My Gramps

When I was a girl I knew a man
Who had a smile and a farmer’s tan.
He was lean and strong and worked very hard
He was agile and quick and so full of charm.
He protected me and kept me safe,
And comforted me in his warm embrace.
We did chores together around the farm
Feeding the animals and watering the lawn.
We drank from the garden hose, which I thought was neat,
And before dinner we would wash our “front feet.”
He took me along to the hardware store and barber shop.
He was my Gramps, and I was his Pork Chop.
When he spoke of his daughters he’d puff up with pride.
When he wore a hat, it was cocked to one side.
He had quite a talent for telling old stories
Some funny, some sad, but none of them boring.
I remember him telling a certain tall tale
How he built Cavenall Hill with his shovel and pail.
He loved animals of all shapes and size.
He liked country music on KFDI.
He wore coveralls when doing his chores.
In cars he liked Lincolns, for pickup trucks Fords.
He always drank coffee from morning till night.
He always referred to his wife as “My Bride.”
While Grams fixed us supper he’d reach out and pinch her
Then smile and wink and say “I think I’ll keep her.”
He asked for his meat to be “double well done.”
And every waitress he had was called “hon.”
He hated the cold, but didn’t mind heat.
He thought every wound needed Campho Phenic.
He liked Dukes of Hazard, Gunsmoke and He Haw,
Old cowboy movies, Wheel of Fortune and Matlock.

As I grew older my Gramps got old too
And there were some things he could no longer do.
He gave up his hog farm and pen full of chickens
But he never got too old to give us the dickens!
The gray at his temples had slowly spread
And tresses of silver now covered his head.
He and my Grams were always holding hands
They were an example of true love and romance.
He could talk your ear off over current events
And tell you exactly how the world could be fixed.
He was always ready to tell you a joke
He always used matches to light up his smokes.
He was always asking, “Now what did she say?”
But insisted he didn’t need no hearing aid!
He loved getting together with all five of his girls
And when we acted silly he called us all squirrels.
His friends numbered dozens, some old and some new
He thought of most of them as family too.
He loved his little dog Pug beyond measure.
All of his grandbabies were his special treasure.
A Kansas man with an Okie boy’s heart,
He left on this world an indelible mark.
He left us one morning so peaceful and easy,
While holding the hand of the wife he loved dearly.
One of these days when my time is through
My turn will come to leave this world too.
And when I get to heaven I’ll be met by a man
Who will smile and laugh and reach out his hands.
He’ll be young and joyful and in perfect health
The loved ones around him will count as his wealth.
I will run to his arms and he’ll give me a hug
And I’ll know that this is who he always was.
-Heather Nall 2008

OK, Lord. You Have My Attention!

Here’s a rundown of recent events:

Thursday, March 20, 2008-Gramps goes to the doctor for chest pain. They discover he has a torn aorta and admit him into the hospital in ICU.

Sunday, March 23, 2008-Easter Sunday. A solor powered outdoor decorative house number light caught my house on fire. R was not home and J and I were sleeping at the time. A wonderful neighbor saw the flames, his wife called the fire department while he ran across the street barefoot to grab our garden hose and put out the fire. A section of siding was destroyed by the fire and had to be pulled off the house to stop the smouldering beneath.

Monday, March 24, 2008-R and I took J with us to Denver to pick up the semi he is buying. He is becoming an owner-operator, after having worked the same job (hauling groceries) for three different companies and being let go again. (long story. One company lost the grocery contract, then another company decided to get rid of company drivers, etc.)

Tuesday, March 25, 2008-R and I dink around Denver all day waiting on people to get their job done so he could bring his truck home. He finally got his truck around 5:00PM. I headed home in our car with J. I didn’t get home till 2:30AM.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008-The healing progress Gramps had made began to reverse. It was determined that there was nothing that could be done to save him, as his kidneys were damaged. His blood pressure had to be kept low to prevent further tearing of the aorta, but the low blood pressure was killing his kidneys. The decision was made to bring him home with hospice care and let him die at home the way he wanted to.

Friday, March 28, 2008-My step-dad’s father was taken to the hospital with terrible pain, and ongoing dementia.

Saturday, March 29, 2008-Gramps passed away. Later that day the doctors discover what is wrong with my step-dad’s father: he has a torn aorta! My poor mother is falling apart.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008-While on his third with his new truck, R is driving down the highway when a grain hauling semi pulls out across the intersection in front of him, completely blocking the road. At 65MPH, there is nothing R can do to avoid the collision. His quick and reasoned thinking under pressure allows him to minimize the severity of the crash and keep both drivers alive. The other driver turns out to be a 70 year old man who admits total fault and says he thinks he may have nodded off, but did not see R at all before they hit. I can’t imagine how scared he must have been! R is commended by three sheriff’s patrol officers for his ability to control the collision.

At this point, I am praying, “Ok, Lord, you have my full attention! What do you want to say to me. I prayed and prayed this morning after R’s phone call. I know God is trying to get my attention about something. I am trying to open my eyes and ears to him and find out what it is. I appreciate continued prayers for all our family. And don’t forget to include “thank you” prayers for Gramps being able to go home in peace, and for Rick’s safety and the safety of the other driver.